Has Conventional Sex Become…Unconventional?

We all know that girl, or have that friend. She is the one with the perfectly conservative outfit, the perfectly conservative relationship, but is it possible for her to maintain the perfectly conservative sex-life? In a relationship is it possible to still have conventional sex?

Today women walk a fine line between trying to be the bride and the bad girl. Every relationship, whether it is legitimate soul mate searching or just a quick fling, leads to confusion about where to draw the line between sexy and sensual. Are all men looking for that naughty schoolgirl in the bedroom, or do they secretly long for a sensual side?

Even more important than the rules of sex in a relationship, are the rules of sex and singledom. Be it a perk or a punishment of the single life, you never quite know if the other party will be coming back for more. Does this threat to our ego keep single women on their toes? More importantly, did the likes of Marilyn Monroe ruin her chances at ever becoming a Jackie Kennedy simply because she was too sexy to settle down? Is it true to say, that you ruin you’re chance at being Jackie, when you’ve established yourself as a Marilyn?

On my research for this column I decided to take a dive into the past of my own sexual relationships to see what “unconventional” things I could find. This search took me as far as the bottom of my closet to my secret sex stash that every girl inevitably has. After looking over the outfits, cremes, and various other things that have accumulated over the years, I had to stop for a second and think, “is this me?” Had my single sex life been boiled down to bags of unconventional sex enhancers in an effort to keep a man coming back for more? What is it about our competitive nature that makes us want to be a man’s “best” at any costs, and is it worth putting on the line who we really are? Questions just kept coming with each secret that I pulled out of a bag, and I needed to find answers.

After my blast from the past, I braved the five o’clock traffic to go have a look around a local sex shop. The fact that a sex shop exists within fifteen minutes of my Midwestern home shows impeccable support for this very argument. As I walked in, I felt immediately uncomfortable when surrounded by the exact subject that I am usually most comfortable with. I informed the forty-something checkout girl and I, in fact, did not need her aid in finding the perfect thing to enhance my sex life. I managed to pull it together and poke around, after all you never know what you might need!

Forty-five minutes later, I was leaving the shop feeling rejuvenated about how conventional my sex life truly was compared to some of those out there, but I still had unanswered questions. I did what any girl would do, who was questioning the validity of her sexcapades, I called up the one girl with a completely opposite view of my own. In my life – the conventional, conservative type that we all knew. She confirmed my exact thoughts on girls with steady relationships and conventional sex.

I was right back where I started, believing that unconventional sex has been what us single women have had to resort to in a ploy to keep our man of the minute coming back for more. Maybe in a relationship conventional sex is okay, that is, only after Mr. Right Now has become Mr. Right. Until then I will stick to tricks that are up my sleeve (or in the bottom of my closet). Maybe going to the local sex shop is going a little far for a man of the moment, but a little lace and a lot of attitude can go a long way in the world of unconventional sex. I shouldn’t complain about the growing demand for unconventional sex, after all, I always preferred being a Marilynn.